The assault continues

 August 22nd 2014

I have not missed the bitchy phone calls. I haven't bitten off my nails either. And the lawyer hasn't called. So far so good.

I did get a letter from Dr. Bunch, not that it will will do any good now. But I will keep it on file.

Bob posted on our business page. I got a screenshot of it and it's on file. Katherine also posted, it's on file. Orge replied to Bob with "grow the fuck up, ass hat." I privately thank him.

When I ride, I don't hear mother's voice warning me that "You might get killed!". Thank you, Jesus, for that miracle!

August 24th 2014

Cam had his anniversary parking lot party yesterday. Guess who showed up? Bob. He didn't come inside, thank goodness. But it put me on edge. Should he show up, I've got a plan to turn the camera on movie mode and a place to set it, grab the phone and my clothes rack bar and meet him head-on if I have to. He needs to stay out of my business. Damn, I am really on edge now! And I can't do any sort of restraining order unless he confronts me. Well, if he does, I'm fighting.

August 25th 2014

I've been enjoying not having to listen to mother’s constant bitching. I've gone a full week without biting off my nails. It will take another week before the left fingers will look decent. I chewed them off fairly short.

August 27th 2014

Bob is at it again. He put a comment on Lisa's review of CIC. She told him off. She took a photo of it and I was able to save it. I started looking for a lawyer to write a cease-and-desist letter, which is making him look stupid because now I've got to pay a lawyer instead of paying her.

If he steps foot in my shop when I'm there alone, I have a plan: set up the camera to record, call nine-one-one for police and grab my clothes rack bar.

Later:

Sent an email off to a lawyer Mary Sisson recommended. We shall see if he can do a cease-and-desist letter. Hopefully it won't cost too much.... Which makes them look even stupider because now I have to pay a lawyer money that I could be paying to her.

August 29th 2014

Got a letter from Sachman. Mother took me off as power of attorney. Yay.

She has chosen money over me. So be it. She no longer has me as a daughter.

August 31st 2014

Got an email back from the lawyer, $250 for a cease-and-desist letter. Sigh...

Tomorrow is two weeks since I severed ties with mother and the rest of them. And two weeks since I stopped biting. I do not miss the bitching.

September 2nd 2014

I didn't get the job. FUCK.

I got a call from Adult Protective Services. FUCK FUCK.

Maxine is now posting on CIC’s reviews. FUCK FUCK FUCK!

I have an appointment tomorrow with a lawyer to see about a cease-and-desist letter to them.

Sigh... At least yesterday was a good day.

Really sucks about the job. I could have worked for them. Sigh... Oh well.

The guy from Adult Protective Services said Mom claimed I said she couldn't contact me. Geez... I said she could email me. Snail mail would be okay too. I want everything in writing from her from now on. She has told too many lies.

 I bought another Mega Millions ticket. Dear God and Jesus, please let me win enough to pay mother off and secure my home. Please. I can't stand to be beaten down anymore!

On a happy note, my nails are growing in nicely, despite the financial worries.

I would so love to pay her off in full and tell her "You have chosen money over a daughter. I no longer consider you my mother. Goodbye!"

Please Jesus? Please? I would pay her, pay the house and help people with housing, food, bills... I would spread the wealth. Please?

10:51pm

No winning ticket. I just cannot catch a break.

I have an appointment with a lawyer tomorrow, though. Sigh... I just want to be done with the whole lot of them. Family is supposed to pick you up when you're down, not kick you, but that is all my relatives have ever done. Sad.

I should try to sleep. I've had a headache ever since I saw Maxine's comment, then the phone call from APS didn't help. 

2014-Shit hits the fan and I go NC

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*WARNING*

I am using software to track who reads this blog.

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August 14, 2014

Oh fuck, shit hit the fan yesterday! Where to start?
I had Martin call her and tell her I had a migraine and to please let me sleep. She took it as “you're not allowed to call her” and started going off the deep end. She called Maxine and cried to her how she was worried about me. She even sent me a message on Facebook, so I called her to get her off the phone to Maxine. She never did say that Martin told her don't call her, just that she wanted to not disturb me. She started in again about the money in her nest egg and “is there some reason you don't want me to have my money?” I told her that I didn't really trust Bob. “How’s he going to get it? Are you worried about me?” told her truthfully that yes, I have seen and heard her do some things that have me worried. Now that didn't go over well! And during all of this I was in chat on Facebook with Maxine. Told her that I see now what she was dealing with and that I was sorry that I allowed mom to drive a wedge between us. I was finally able to get off the phone nearly two hours later and I put in a call to Dr. Bunch. He suggested I call mental health which I did. Mom got right back on the phone with Maxine bitching about me saying that with my depression she didn't think I was capable of taking care of her. My current depression is due to you mother! I called mental health and they suggested I have Mom call them. Yeah, right! They suggested I try to get Mom back on her meds for anxiety. They want me to get her into a doctor. Her appointment isn't until September 23^rd, though Maxine says she's coming to visit the 9th thru the 20^th, so I'm going to try to change the appointment for sometime in there.
I have an appointment for me tomorrow at mental health. They want to get a support plan in place for me. Mom said something to me while she was on the phone; she wants to “correct the situation” so she is no longer a burden on us. Now, I didn't really catch that until I copied and pasted it to print out for the guy I'm seeing tomorrow. I'm wondering if maybe I should try to drag mom to the Urgent Care Clinic sooner rather than wait till the appointment in September.
At one point I was trying to tell her when my next free day was and she screamed out "When do *I* come first?!" and then started bawling.

 August 17, 2014

I am done with the whole family. Mother has changed stories depending on who she's talking to. Max is going back on what she said about Mom. Bob is bitching me out about the money. Martin said,” Let the Bob without sin cast the first stone.” Made me laugh. Mom called Mr. Sachman, the lawyer, and bawled to him for an hour and a half and he claims he saw no evidence of mental illness. Sigh… I give up. To protect myself I am stepping back. Let Bob deal with her; I don't give a fuck anymore! I'm tired of the lies and deceit that this woman has inflicted on me. She does have a mental illness; it is just like Anita's and no one will believe me until she goes downhill.
Tomorrow in about 12 hours I am pretty much severing ties with mother. I know according to her I will be an awful person and I know Bob has already turned her against me. He sent me a message on Facebook. He can fuck off.

 

 I knew Max will turn against me because now she looks good compared to me. How quickly she forgot what mother is really like!

We went for a ride today and I apologized to Dad. I think under the circumstances he understands mother is going the same route as Anita, but no one believes me! Oh well, I don't give a fuck anymore.
I need to deliver a message to the apartment manager telling him to rewrite the lease and have mother sign it and take me off. I refuse to be liable for her lease if she decides to move back. Sigh… part of me wishes I had left her ass over there yet part of me is screaming “Yes! Finally free of the bitch!”

When I was riding the motorcycle today, I didn't hear mother's voice pissing and moaning about how I would crash and die, so once I deliver the handwritten letter, maybe her voice will shut up. I hope! I told her to not call me but she is welcome to email me or send a message on Facebook. I restricted that entire side of the family. I definitely want to sever ties with Bob. He has no right to chew me out about using the money! The only one who has that right would be mother, but she would go on and on about it for days, weeks, months, YEARS! I wish I could win the lotto so I can just pay it back all at once and wash my hands of her. As it is, I will have to think about her once or twice a month when I make a deposit.

(Bob sent Martin a message on facebook, too.)

 

August 18th 2014
It is done. I deposited $203.65 in the account, put the deposit slip in the envelope and put the whole mess on her front doorstep. I am done! I blocked everyone on Facebook, too. So done! I left a note for the manager to rewrite the lease and take me off of it. I want no more to do with her. I'm expecting her lawyer to call but I left the cell phone at home. Aw, shucks. I asked Martin this morning if I should just turn it off since there's no real need for it now. He said he wouldn't miss it.
Well my nails should grow back nicely now. I don't have any reason to bite them off. 

2014- Trying to please a narc

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*WARNING*

I am using software to track who reads this blog.

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January 30, 2014

Last Thursday mom called in a panic. Hugh the maintenance guy barged into her apartment and demanded that he fill out some financial paperwork for her. I was going to cal Shari the director but Mom was afraid Shari would get mad at HER. So I called Stewart Brown at Village Concepts . He said that NO, Hugh was not supposed to do that. I just called and left a message for Stewart to get a follow up call back. Sigh... and Max is pissed that SHE didn't get to call. Oy. Like I need her mouth going off and pissing people off.

 Mom called this evening and I told her three times that I had a stomach bug. Not ONCE did she ask if I was better now. That hurts. It was all about her.

April 24, 2014

It's amazing how self absorbed she has become.

I'm tired of hearing Mom bitch about Max and Jessica and the kids and the laundry room and the people at the apartment and the people at church and... yeah...

May 18, 2014

She says she's ready to go now.  

MOVING DAY

May 29, 2014

There truly is NO pleasing this woman. The ants are a valid problem. So is the dryer door being hard for her to open. But the stains on the  floor? She's driving herself into a frenzy. I tried to explain to her that it is NOT going to be perfect. She said she doesn't expect perfect but that the owner should put new flooring in for every new tenant. I told her if I was a landlord, I wouldn't put new stuff down because you don't know if the next person will take care of it. She just shook her head at me like "I'm right, you're wrong."

And Bob. Oh my... he came to "help" unpack but all he did was to cut open boxes, rummaged through each one and then carry it to her. He would stack them up all around her and she couldn't hardly move.

May 30, 2014

Apparently the previous tenant left the oven a mess and she's worked herself into a tizzy about it. She thinks the manager should clean it and that she should get a full month's rent off for it. 

June 6, 2014

More DRAMA! "There are ants EVERYWHERE!" I sent Martin out with Terro traps. He'll let me know how many there really are.
She also thinks that the manager of the apartment doesn't like her having a freezer or having an air conditioner. Honestly, I think it's just her thinking everyone is out to get her. 

 I just looked up "paranoia" and it describes Mom really well, especially the "everyone is out to get me" part.

June 26, 2014

I took Mom for a hair cut but she wasn't happy with the hair dresser. I know she won't be happy with ANYONE.

 

July 1, 2014

Got her a portable air conditioner and took the widow unit back...
It's amazing how Mom can make the SMALLEST thing into a BIG DEAL. 

OH MY GOD, THIS IS A JUST A HORRID PROBLEM AND IT NEEDS TO BE TAKEN CARE OF NOW BEFORE I DIE!

No, seriously... call waiting doesn't pop up the caller ID when someone beeps in. Century Link doesn't have that feature. It just DOESN'T EXIST. I spent half an hour trying to explain to Mom that she can't order it because it DOESN'T EXIST. "So, I DON’T have call waiting???"
And the damn fucking "critical" message that Avast pops up... I'm tempted to change virus protection just to avoid the pain of having to tell Mom over and over, "it's a fucking commercial to get you to buy the extended version! "So, I need to pay money??" ARGH!

July 7, 2014

I could swim at Klineline or Vancouver Lake, but then I have mother screaming in my head. Dear God, it's a wonder I do ANYTHING with her mental influence going on in my brain.

July 27th 2014

Every little thing to mother is a major crisis. I checked in on her. The ants! The horror! Even the Terro Traps aren’t killing them off. I'd like to try the sugar/ baking soda/ borax mix again. Doubt that she will let me. I know it's sad, but I honestly think she would be happier if she were dead.
Having him so close is kind of a pain in the ass. Bob keeps hanging around I think he's hoping for money

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Memory Flashback:

My mother had a bout of stomach problems, so I took her into urgent care. He referred her to a gastroenterologist. I had also managed to get her set up with a general practitioner that was taking new Medicare patients. The doctor’s name was Dumler. When I told my mother the woman’s name, my mother smarted off, “What, is she DUMB or something???”
That’s when it really hit me that there was something seriously mentally wrong with my mother. Now she was attacking people just based on their names.

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August 11, 2014

Mom will not be happy even when she's dead. Sigh... and the last thing I need her doing is pissing off the manager and getting kicked out. But according to her, there are THOUSANDS of ants now. She will sit in the bathroom for hours and kill them off. Sigh. The Terro traps aren't working, probably because she's killing them before they can take the poison back to the colony. 

August 13, 2014

Mom says she wants to take back control of the account. I'm afraid that Bob is grooming her and trying to take over her money. What to do, what to do? She asked about having the statements sent to her again, but to do that, ownership would need to be switched back to her. I'm afraid Bob is trying to get a hold of the money.

She's also still being paranoid about the ants.
I need to call the apartment manager tomorrow and hear his side of the story. it most likely won't match up with mom’s because I know how paranoid she is. I just looked up paranoia disorder. Most people don't seek treatment because they don't believe anything is wrong with them. And Mom doesn't see it.
I'm supposed to take Mom for a haircut tomorrow, but I just don't feel like dealing with her on 3 hours of sleep. I'm thinking of having Martin call her and tell her I have a migraine, but then that will add to the paranoia against me. Yeah, I think Bob may be grooming her.

Oh my God! She’s claiming I'm incompetent and that she's going to get legal help to get her money back even though she has access to it! She wants paper statements sent to her apartment.
Oh, and she is thinking about taking a chair in the bathroom so she can sit there and read a book and kill ants. (facepalm)

She has turned against Cortina. She said that when Cortina came to help move, she would take off with Mom's purse. *I* know Cortina wouldn't that.

2013- Death and hernias

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*WARNING*

I am using software to track who reads this blog.

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A little back history:
My half sister, Anita, the one that physically abused me when I was kid, was diagnosed schizophrenic. She had been living in an assisted living home at one point. She was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and it was suggested she have dialysis done. Before dialysis could begin, some women from the Mormon church arranged for Anita to be transferred to a place in Idaho. After the transfer, Anita claimed that the women were taking all her money. At one point, one of the checks that Anita signed showed up. The date on the check coincided with her being in Medical Lake and it was made out to a funeral home in Othello. One of the women from the Mormon Church worked there. The only portion of the check in Anita’s handwriting was the signature. Everything else was in someone else’s handwriting.

I have a suspicion that someone had taken out an insurance policy on Anita and then moved her in the hopes that she would die and no one in the family would know. I also suspect that, if there WAS an insurance policy, it was being paid for from Anita’s bank account. I was told she was getting money from the state because of her mental illness.

But Anita called our mother, and told her she’d been moved. My mother and Maxine went to Idaho and became Anita’s legal guardian’s, then had her transferred back to Washington.

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April 17, 2013

Well, Anita is gone, I got here Sunday evening and we've been back and forth since. Today at noon we decided to leave figuring she'd linger several more days. I had taken mom's car to get wiper blades then was going to do a couple more errands, just to get away from Mom for awhile. My god, the woman is even MORE anal and OCD! And she's been snipping at me!!

I keep telling her that if she moves over by me, I will help her get the negative out of her system. I will need a lot of help, though.

Mother doesn't want to pursue the possibility that the Mormon women may have a life insurance policy on Anita. So without her on board, we're dead in the water. 

Anyhow we're planning a family-only graveside service on Friday which is when they're going to lower her into the ground. And I have a fucking cold. Probably got it from mom, who got it from Renee.

Thank GOODNESS I had the foresight to grab the Zicam cuz like bloody fucking hell Mom would let me out of her sight long enough to go get some. 

And she even admitted that if she moves over there, she'd be bugging me every day.

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I had suggested to my mother that, since she was Anita’s guardian, go to the bank and ask to see bank statements to see if an insurance policy was being paid for from that account. She refused that idea… until the day after Anita died. THEN she wanted to go to the bank.
Well, you can guess what the bank said… “Now that she’s dead, you’re not guardian of anyone anymore.

Even though Anita hurt me physically until I was 16 and kicked her ass, it made me mad that someone could take advantage of a mentally ill person.
There’s nothing I can do except let Karma take over. I tried.

I'm glad I went, though. Anita was to the point where she couldn't move or open her eyes, but you could see her eyeballs moving around and she could move her eyebrows. I didn't want to be around her when she was conscious because I didn't know what she would do, if she would be okay with me there or she would revert to how she was when I was little and try to hurt me. So I waited until she was mostly unresponsive to go sit bedside vigil. 

At one point, my mother and Maxine left the room. I went to Anita and said, "Anita, this is Heidi." And her eyeballs and eyebrows went CRAZY. I could tell she was trying to open her eyes. I told her, "Everything between us is forgiven." She seemed to relax after I said that. I hope it brought her some peace. I know it did for me. Looking back, she must have been dealing with mental illness for a very long time. 

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April 28, 2013

Pretty sure Mom's showing signs of dementia now. She's telling the same stuff over and over. And she's CONVINCED those "nosy Mormon women" are plotting to drive her bat shit crazy. She really thinks they are out to get her. Sigh...
If she DOES decide to move over here, I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. Last Tuesday when one of the women, Mary Merrill, came to her door to leave a card, Mom called my home phone, left a message, then called my cell FOUR TIMES and left messages. For the love of... I was on the BIKE. I can't exactly answer while I'm riding. Sheesh. And she was just so sure that Mary Merrill was there to torture her. Sigh... Mom's gotten even more paranoid about germs and OCD like you wouldn't believe. She got upset when I tried to take a different route back to her apartment. Sigh...
The entire time I was there, she wouldn't let me go off by myself without a bit of a fit. Sigh... I just don't know what to do. If she moves over here, she will want me with her 24/7 and just can NOT do that. She will be on the phone with me several times a day and she will get irate when I tell her no, I can't come rushing to her because I'm at the shop.

June 1, 2013

So, my mom can hint and hint and hint and gets mad when people don't take the hint and give her what she wants... yet she can't take the hint either.
She sent a card saying for us to use the credit card or some of the money to buy us something. I wrote her back saying we didn't want to buy anything, we have plenty of stuff, but we need help with the mortgage. HINT. Nope, no bite.

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My mother had a hernia and kept putting off surgery “until Anita dies!” Anita died in APRIL. She put off the surgery for 3 more months.
She wanted me to come take care of her… of course. 

Why me? Because I was “self-employed” and could “shut the shop down whenever you want to!”
Our business was sponsoring an event which was to take place on August 2nd. I told her this and I asked her to try to schedule the surgery AFTER the event.
NOPE. July 30th.
“That’s the date they GAVE me! I had NO CHOICE!”
Right… I seriously doubt that.

Maxine showed up at the hospital to sit vigil. I wasn't surprised, since she lives there. I was shocked when Bob showed up, though. We sat in the cafeteria and he bitched about the choice of food, and fat shamed Maxine and me. He pissed and moaned about his junker car and how much gas it took to drive across the state. I'm pretty sure he was high on something. He had that look around and in his eyes. I just kept my mouth shut. 

As soon as we got the okay to go up to see our mother, we went up, he said hello, then beat feet it out the door.

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August 3, 2013
She's been home for just over 24 hours... Sigh... I FINALLY did something right by her... I made a good dinner.

August 8, 2013
I can tell Mom's feeling better. She's starting to wrap the apron strings around my neck. I HAD to get away this evening so I went for a ride in search of coffee.

August 9, 2013  

As much as the cats annoy me, they don't annoy me as much as Mom does. She has to do a task THE absolute most difficult way possible. Like today. Grocery shopping. Mom had FIVE lists. FIVE. And halfway through the trip, she had lost them. Luckily, I had transcribed them onto another sheet of paper...

 

August 11, 2013 
She kinda got bitchy before she went to bed. I don't know if it's because she's hurting or because she realized I was leaving tomorrow. Sigh... I can't live with her! She is an emotional and energy vampire to me. She expects me to be with her 24/7 and I CAN'T DO IT!

I went for a ride earlier. She said, "Oh, are you gearing up?" Sigh... I actually replied, "No, I thought I'd go out naked." Seriously, some of the questions that pop out of her head. And the grilling me whenever I go to leave. Geez.

She is going to try to drag out our good-bye tomorrow, I just know it. WHY does she have to be this way? I am so thankful that I'm stronger than her, but she's sucking me under. I need to breathe or she will drown me!

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By this point, I had been at her place for two weeks, from July 29 to August 12.

I got to go home for a week, then back to her place for a week and a half.

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August 20, 2013  

I'm back at Mom's.
Really hoping I don't have to come back, for awhile, at least. Mom seems a little more open to moving. I will check out apartments when I get back. She's not going to be happy no matter where she is. Sigh...

August 21, 2013  

Sigh... I can't wait to go HOME. I am so fucking BORED, sitting on my ass doing NOTHING but watching TV or facebook. Mom doesn't like me leaving the apartment. My gosh, I hope I never become so dependent on someone, anyone, that I shut down every time they leave. Yeesh. How weak. She barely let me out the friggin' door this morning to go walk. If she could, she'd have me move in and sit with her all day at her beck and call. 

December 18, 2013

Yesterday Maxine called and woke me up. Mom's screaming "get me out of here!" and Max found an apartment but Mom started the "I can't afford that" routine.

Sigh... part of me wants Mom over here and part of me doesn't. She would be on the phone to me CONSTANTLY and I can't do that while I'm at the shop- we don't have call waiting. Sigh... I would definitely lose my freedom.

 I got everything on my list done. I checked out apartments at Madison Park down the street and they have two one bedroom apartments that are handicap accessible (sic). But when I called Mom, she started in with the "I can't afford that, I'm scared, I don't want to move in the winter, waa waa waa..." Sigh... I asked her "WHERE will you TRULY be happy?" She didn't have an answer. Because she won't be happy anywhere. Oy!!