Thursday, November 6, 2008

"Poor Me"

Something has been gnawing on my brain lately. And it’s something I’ve been guilty of doing just as much as the next guy.

The “Poor Me” syndrome.

Notion number 1: We are victims and we are helpless, hopeless and powerless.

No, we’re not. We just find it easier to moan and groan about what we don’t have or what has happened to us rather than to feel blessed by what we DO have or make a choice to deal with our situation and make it better.

Notion number 2: It’s someone else’s fault that I’m in this situation.

No, you have choices, too. We can blame others and continually use excuses for not taking charge of our own destiny. But you still have CHOICES.

Notion number 3: If I had (fill in the blank) I would be so much happier.

REALLY?? Honestly. Sit down and think about this. If you had a new car vs. your old paid off one, what would happen? You’d have a monthly car payment when you didn’t have any before, your insurance would probably go up and you’d be constantly on pins and needles just WAITING for someone to put the first ding in it.

The same goes with any situation. Before you bemoan the fact that there’s something you want but don’t have, stop and reflect how having that item would change your life, your way of thinking, and your attitude.

Okay, so what can we do to stop this behavior?

Well, first off, stop blaming everyone else for how you’re feeling. It’s YOUR choice as to how you deal with situations in your life.

Secondly, for every negative thought you have, stop and consciously replace it with TWO positive thoughts. Instead of taking one step toward the dark, stop and take two steps to the light.

Next, practice an ‘attitude of gratitude.’ Say thank you for all the blessings you receive throughout the day. You could even start a Gratitude journal. Before you go to sleep each night, write down in your journal or notepad 5 things that you are grateful for each day. To go one step further, start a Joy journal. List things that make you feel happy. When you are having a ‘bad’ day, go back to your joy journal to re-focus on the wonderful moments in your life.

When you find yourself in a situation, remind yourself that you DO have choices and you CAN change not only how you behave, but you could change the entire outcome of the situation.

And lastly, believe in yourself. You ARE someone special. You ARE worth it.

Here’s the start to my Gratitude Journal:

  1. I am thankful for my husband and daughter who motivate me to be the best that I can be.
  2. I am thankful for having a job that allows me to have a home, cars, food, clothing and money to pay the bills.
  3. I am thankful for my friends who don’t mind when I’m silly and love to laugh both at me and with me.
  4. I am thankful for the fact that October was so sunny that it kept the S.A.D. away for just a bit longer.
  5. I am thankful for the winter, for without it, there would be no spring.


dotoner said...

thank you Heidi! An excellent reminder to all of us! I'm grateful for you!

annaliese said...

very nice.

Mer said...

Thanksgiving needs to be a daily event, doesn't it?

Nice post.