April 2, 1985
The trouble started when I got home. Mom drove by and saw that I didn’t get RIGHT HOME afterwards. Why the H-E-double
hockey sticks is she so… so… overprotective. I’m fifteen now and she
still treats me like I’m a baby or something. NOW she’s telling me to go
see Missy (my cousin) . As if I want to. But what the heck
is wrong with her?
2:08pm
Okay I spent enough time with Missy , back to my question. What IS wrong with my mom? Maybe she’s jealous of me. But what’s there to be jealous of? I still have a chance to a good education. I’m still young, I have a handsome boyfriend who cares for me, and I’m a lot smarter than she is. I don’t know what’s up her butt,
but I do know she’s being very unfair and overprotective. And just when
I thought she was setting me a tad bit free everyday. Well I can tell
you this much. She WASN’T!! I wish I could get away from this place for
awhile. I don’t know where but just away from this place (for awhile
anyway).
June 1, 1985 (spare room)
I’m sitting in here because my room is a mess. The one weekend I really have to study and they kick me out of my own room. I’ll never understand grown ups. I got to go visit Dean at the station last night
after graduation. I could’ve been with him while we were waiting for
Dad’s order. But you know my mom. She treats me like a baby. Sometimes I
hate her so much. She acts like such a bitch. And to top it off,
she CALLS me her baby. Then they said I could stay for ten minutes and
they gypped me three minutes.
July 12, 1985
My folks actually let me stay out til 11pm. Can you believe it? Dean and I had a marvelous time. When we were walking
back to my house I saw that my folks were still waiting up for me.
Aug 4, 1985
Gee I wish my mom would let me grow up.
Aug 3, 1985
You’ll never guess what I did. I broke my collar bone. Great, huh? I ran into a fire hydrant with my bike.
Aug 9, 1985
I want to go bike riding or something. Mom won’t let me do anything! I asked if I could go for a walk and she said, “NO!”
Aug 23, 1985
Robert just stopped by and Mom was in the shower. Oh, great. Now she’s yelling at me for not coming to get her. And then if I HAD come to get her, she probably wouldn’t have believed me and yelled at me then, too. Either way I would’ve got it. She’s hard to please.
_____________________________
Jealousy seemed to be a huge problem for her. She would often tell me how lucky I was to have a chance at an education, then she would lament about how she wished SHE could have continued on with school, but it just wasn’t meant to be because she had babies instead. She dropped out of 8th grade to have a baby at age 15. Then she would say how she didn’t like school anyway because she was too stupid and couldn’t get good grades.
Being kicked out of my own room so my parents could “clean” was a common occurrence. My mother never said as much, but I could tell her “cleaning” was a way to spy on me. Whenever they kicked me out, I would take my journals with me. They are all spiral bound notebooks, so they looked like regular school supplies.
I had one notebook that I had fashioned a locking system on. I came home one day to find the locking system broken. I approached my mother about it and, at first, she denied breaking it. Then she said she needed some blank notebook paper so she HAD to break it to get to the paper. I asked her how come she looked UNDER MY BED for blank notebook paper when there was a loose stack sitting on the shelf next to my bed. She started screaming at me about being a smart ass and to “just wait until your father gets home!”. Needless to say, I was grounded.
After that, I kept all my journals in my locker at school except for the current one, which I kept in my backpack with my school books. During summer break I would alternate hiding places; the shed out back (she wouldn’t go out there because it was dirty and had spiders), the front storage area (again, dirt and spiders), and the storage room just off the family room (I found the dirtiest, darkest corner).
These are all of my journals so far, from April 1984 to present (May 2016)
After I broke my collar bone, she took my crash personally, as if I did it on purpose, just to inconvenience her. Every time I tried to step foot out of the house for any reason other than school, she was at my throat, telling me “don’t get HURT!” or “be back in THIRTY MINUTES!”
For the first two weeks she refused to even let me go for a walk around the block.
She also refused to let me get my bike fixed for over a year. Even after I had earned the money to get a new front wheel, she absolutely REFUSED to let me fix it. My dad finally stepped in and told her enough was enough. He took me to get the wheel and showed me how to replace it.
Characteristics of a narcissistic mother
http://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/characteristics-of-narcissistic-mothers.html
1. Everything she does is deniable.
2. She violates your boundaries.
7. She’s envious.
8. She’s a liar in too many ways to count.
15. She’s infantile and petty.
20. She is never wrong about anything.
21. She seems to have no awareness that other people even have feelings.
22. She blames.
The trouble started when I got home. Mom drove by and saw that I didn’t get RIGHT HOME afterwards
2:08pm
Okay I spent enough time with Missy , back to my question. What IS wrong with my mom? Maybe she’s jealous of me. But what’s there to be jealous of? I still have a chance to a good education. I’m still young, I have a handsome boyfriend who cares for me, and
June 1, 1985 (spare room)
I’m sitting in here because my room is a mess. The one weekend I really have to study and they kick me out of my own room. I’ll never understand grown ups. I got to go visit Dean at the
July 12, 1985
My folks actually let me stay out til 11pm. Can you believe it? Dean and I had a marvelous time
Aug 4, 1985
Gee I wish my mom would let me grow up.
Aug 3, 1985
You’ll never guess what I did. I broke my collar bone. Great, huh? I ran into a fire hydrant with my bike.
Aug 9, 1985
I want to go bike riding or something. Mom won’t let me do anything! I asked if I could go for a walk and she said, “NO!”
Aug 23, 1985
Robert just stopped by and Mom was in the shower. Oh, great. Now she’s yelling at me for not coming to get her. And then if I HAD come to get her, she probably wouldn’t have believed me and yelled at me then, too. Either way I would’ve got it. She’s hard to please.
_____________________________
Jealousy seemed to be a huge problem for her. She would often tell me how lucky I was to have a chance at an education, then she would lament about how she wished SHE could have continued on with school, but it just wasn’t meant to be because she had babies instead. She dropped out of 8th grade to have a baby at age 15. Then she would say how she didn’t like school anyway because she was too stupid and couldn’t get good grades.
Being kicked out of my own room so my parents could “clean” was a common occurrence. My mother never said as much, but I could tell her “cleaning” was a way to spy on me. Whenever they kicked me out, I would take my journals with me. They are all spiral bound notebooks, so they looked like regular school supplies.
I had one notebook that I had fashioned a locking system on. I came home one day to find the locking system broken. I approached my mother about it and, at first, she denied breaking it. Then she said she needed some blank notebook paper so she HAD to break it to get to the paper. I asked her how come she looked UNDER MY BED for blank notebook paper when there was a loose stack sitting on the shelf next to my bed. She started screaming at me about being a smart ass and to “just wait until your father gets home!”. Needless to say, I was grounded.
After that, I kept all my journals in my locker at school except for the current one, which I kept in my backpack with my school books. During summer break I would alternate hiding places; the shed out back (she wouldn’t go out there because it was dirty and had spiders), the front storage area (again, dirt and spiders), and the storage room just off the family room (I found the dirtiest, darkest corner).
These are all of my journals so far, from April 1984 to present (May 2016)
After I broke my collar bone, she took my crash personally, as if I did it on purpose, just to inconvenience her. Every time I tried to step foot out of the house for any reason other than school, she was at my throat, telling me “don’t get HURT!” or “be back in THIRTY MINUTES!”
For the first two weeks she refused to even let me go for a walk around the block.
She also refused to let me get my bike fixed for over a year. Even after I had earned the money to get a new front wheel, she absolutely REFUSED to let me fix it. My dad finally stepped in and told her enough was enough. He took me to get the wheel and showed me how to replace it.
Characteristics of a narcissistic mother
http://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/characteristics-of-narcissistic-mothers.html
1. Everything she does is deniable.
2. She violates your boundaries.
7. She’s envious.
8. She’s a liar in too many ways to count.
15. She’s infantile and petty.
20. She is never wrong about anything.
21. She seems to have no awareness that other people even have feelings.
22. She blames.
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