The days after...

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*WARNING*
I am using software to track who reads this blog.
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August 15th 2006 7:39 a.m.

Here we go. It’s been over 24 hours since he died. I woke up this morning to go to the bathroom and looked up at the clock. My heart broke when I read the time; 4:40 exactly. 24 hours.

Okay, the room is straightened and organized, my clothes are laid out on the bed since I don't have a dresser, and I'm dressed to shoes, with my bed made. I'm ready to face the day, whatever it may hold.

August 16th 2006 12:36 a.m.

Becky came over for a chat without her mom and Marta knowing, and she's staying the night. We finally got mom to let us go to bed. Mom is going to have it hard at night.

11:41 p.m.

I haven't been allowed to grieve for my Dad... Mom keeps pushing herself to the front burner.
She has irked me so much today. Doing the sharp intake when I'm driving, not listening when I tell her my needs (my blood sugar dropped in Walmart), being two faced and hypocritical as well as prejudiced and just yammering on and on about things! 

Last night as we were getting ready for bed, she peeked out the window and just hit the ROOF! Someone had parked a truck in front of the house on the street and it was about a foot into the driveway plus there was someone in it. Mom started in, “They already know he’s dead and they’re just gonna start (insert deed here) and I should call the police!” I told her that she wouldn’t have a leg to stand on. “Well, I can’t go to bed until they leave! Look at them sitting there staring in my window!” Uhhh, mom, you are the one pulling the drape open, not them. She stood in that window til they drove off.

August 17, 2006

I called Soc. Sec. and made sure everything was up to date. She starts yammering in my bad ear and I'm trying to listen to two people, I forget to ask a question, hang up and she starts RANTING! My gosh! I keep telling her, “If you yammer at me while I'm on the phone, I can't hear you!” She said, "I know, I have the same problem!” Then WHY doesn't she STOP DOING IT?!?!

August 18, 2006 12:50 a.m.

Maxine thinks that in mom's eyes I can do no wrong, but she has no idea.

At 6:00pm I felt myself start to drop. I asked Mom if I could test (she's going to let me have Dad's tester... I hope!) and it came out 83... within normal but kinda low. So I fixed dinner- chicken and potatoes with Mrs. Dash no salt stuff and onion flakes. "I couldn't eat THAT ! I like MY chicken PLAIN! That stuff ruins the flavor!" Whatever, it's MY dinner, not yours.
Okay, fast forward... we went through the fire safe and finally finished just after midnight. I felt myself dropping again, so had a bowl of cereal. Mom walks in and says, "I should eat, but I'd get a tummy ache." Told her I felt myself dropping so decided to eat something. She smarted off, "Well, I don't think it's smart to dash off and eat something every time you feel that way!" When I pointed out to her that it had been 6 and a half hours since my last meal... sigh... Explained that I usually eat breakfast, 3 hours later a small snack, 3 more hours is lunch, small snack again and then dinner. She said, "Well, they tell diabetics to do that..." UH HUH! DING! 

She wanted me to call Uncle Tom in Texas to make sure they were not coming. she also wanted me to rip him a new one about how Dad was treated when Dad was down there for his mom's death. I told Mom that since I didn't witness Dad's distress and it would be hearsay, it wasn't my place to start that particular war but that I would call and make sure they're not coming.

I wish mom wouldn't rant like that

August 18th 2006 still 10:54 p.m.

I am pooped we got a lot done today, phone calls, picked out a headstone, balanced the checkbook, deposited money.

August 22nd 2006

I love my mom, but I honestly could never live with the woman. She is way too negative.

Dad was supposed to be cremated today; at least that's what the gal at Neptune told me.

I got the obits sent into the papers. Hopefully they will be posted in Thursday's papers.

August 24^th 2006

Geez, people chill out! The Othello paper made a mistake and left part of Dad's obituary out, so mom’s frothing at the mouth. Maxine called Martin about one of the obituaries, and the paper is saying it can't be found. Okay, which paper? And they want me to fix it NOW! People, I'm at WORK. I don't have email access at work! It will have to wait! I'm wondering if Maxine is talking about the Tri-City Herald, because I didn't submit to that one, so of COURSE they didn't find it.

August 29th 2006

I still feel like I haven't really grieved for my dad. I miss him terribly. It will feel weird getting to the house and he's not there. Granted, last time he wasn't there either, but at least I got to see him. I'm sure I would feel way more busted up if he had been a daily part of my life and if he had been taken from me suddenly and violently. But it was so quiet and peaceful, except when Mom started crying loudly and he started breathing again. I've been told that hearing is the last sense to go, so it is very possible that he heard her and tried to come back.

I'm not looking forward to this weekend, Thursday I will leave for Othello right after work, Friday we will drive to Ritzville to get the death certificate, then on to Spokane to get Dad's ashes. I'm not sure… do I want some of Dad's ashes? I could save just a little… or maybe just bury them all. I don't know. I have pictures of him when he was alive and that's the way I want to remember him, not as a pile of ashes sitting on my shelf. Okay, so that's decided.

September 5th 2006

I got to moms about 11:30 Thursday night. Friday we got to Ritzville and got the death certificates, then we went on to Spokane and wasn't able to follow the directions MapQuest gave me, so I had to drive around to get to Sprague Street. I finally found it though.

We picked up Dad's ashes and went to Perkins for lunch, then headed back to Othello except I missed the 395 exit at Ritzville, so we took the warden exit and drove forever. Finally found 17 and got to the cemetery before Marion got there. When she did show up, I put Dad’s urn in the hole and she went to get the backhoe… only her husband didn't leave the keys so she got a bucket and shovel. She dumped the first bucket and I did the second. I got to bury my daddy. Mom misses him so much. I know she misses him more than I do, but that's because he was a daily constant in her life.

She had a doctor's appointment today. I want to call her and see how it went.
  

September 6th 2006

I bought the memory frame and flag frame and I will refuse to take money for it even though all the supplies cost over $75. I have to build the shelving to go in the memory frame.

September 12, 2006
Max wants to tell me her side of the story. I told her go ahead, I would listen, but I'm really trying to stay out of the middle of it. Sigh... I know Mom blows things out of proportion.

September 20, 2006
Mom also wants to change the will, and leave the other three out. Sigh… what a hellish mess that will cause me. If they each get a quarter then decide that they deserve more and take it to court and all that, at least I can say, “Look, they got a quarter, their fair share.”

September 22, 2006

And Mom wants the other kids written out of the will. Sigh…

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My father never mentioned changing the will, just to stay away from Maxine, Bob and Anita. My MOTHER was the one that came up with the idea of changing the will. Remember this for later.